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The Pleasures of ‘Defeat’

pleasure of defeat unodiscuss

There is always a radical approach used in finding out hidden answers. For instance, while reading randomly, I came across a scientist who wanted to know just how long one can keep on blinking after decapitation. His name? Antoine-Laurent de Lavoisier (1794). Strange isn’t it?

The keyword here is “radical”, and not whether he was right or wrong in that gory self-experiment.

Truly, the societal situation is such that we have been programmed culturally and religiously to see some things as innately bad and others as innately good. It must be noted however, that those who come out on top have chosen to look beyond those ‘rules’, and create a path for themselves.

This image has gone quite viral. Its old but gold. I will use this right here to prove my ongoing point of peering – squinting in this case.

squint-eyes

Look at this image by the left. At first glance, it looks like an old woman. Squinting your eyes however gives you the perfect image intended for the squinting seeker.

The pleasures of success, fulfillment, whatever, can only be got by squinting through defeat.

It is almost weird to even think that pleasure can be derived through defeat.

An analogy comes to mind for those that are caught up in one seeming weakness or the other – drugs, masturbation, etc.

For a second, imagine two (2) kids who set out to become professional boxers in their teens. Let us give them names: say, Charles  and James. They both enrolled in a boxing club and went about judiciously on their training routines.

Just like it applies in every field, there will always be those better than others. Charles was quite better than James, initially. The champion of the club, if you like. James was more often beaten than Charles both in sparring simulations and in actual fights.

As would be expected, Charles became proud and puffed up and counted is prowess as a natural feat, not needing any grooming. James on the other hand sought out counsel, modified his training patterns and techniques, and sharpened his reflexes.

Ceteris paribus, who do you think will turn out well at the end of the day? James of course.

But the point is, despite the constant frequency of James’ defeats, he came out stronger. Why? Because intentionally or unintentionally, he chose to embrace pain. Embrace the struggle. Embrace his ‘defeats’.

A Jewish proverb says, I ask not for a lighter load, but I ask for broader shoulders.

Talent is not all there is. Defeat is not the end game.

Many outstanding successes have been recorded when a man has got to the bottom of his defeats. Indeed, when one is at the bottom, there is no where else to go but up.

A story was once told about a boy who was shivering in the cold. Poor boy he was. He sold newspapers by the road side at a very busy road intersection. Unfortunately for him, this was winter – you could call it Harmattan. He was noticed by a young man passing by who engaged him as follows:

Young man: Hey boy, are you not feeling the cold? Why not go seek for warmer environment nearby?

Boy: No Sir, the cold is just for a while, it will soon pass.

True to his word, the weather became milder as the day went by.

The gains of defeat will be enumerated as follows:

1. We become more grateful and thankful when we go through a defeated situation

Of course, there is always the temptation of thinking we would have whizzed through a gory situation undefeated. The mere thought that we ‘succeeded’ (depending on what success means for you) depicts the singular truth that we MUST be and remain grateful.

Take a step back and reminisce on that exam you underrated. Those job interviews you failed that thought you lessons about subsequent interviews. Think! Be grateful.

2. Defeat shows there is life 

A life without defeat is not a life of bliss, it is a life of death. Defeat is a proof of life. I will explain.

Take two (2) persons battling a vice for 10 years – say substance abuse. One of them decides to fight that abuse. He fights and falls and fights and fall again! But the other person just sits idly by, and assumes that by some plot twist, he will be wholly transformed to his babyhood of typical innocence.

Who gains more life at the end of the day? The one who keeps fighting DESPITE numerous defeats. The day you stop fighting, that day you die! Unless you are raised back to life by some miraculous happening.

People who take what I call ‘depressants’ understand that painlessness is not actually painless. It only drives life away from you. Embrace the pain, there is life.

3. Defeats serve as an inspiration to others

The truth is there are others out there who are facing EXACTLY the same thing you are facing. No question about that.

Now, when you fight through and overcome that situation that constantly puts you in a defeated situation, you serve as an inspiration to others out there that for every uncommon situation, there is always a way out.

Remember, we don’t exist for ourselves, we exist to touch lives around us. Touching lives may not be by a physical touch, it may be in the form of stories that will go at length to INSPIRE others.

Keep Glowing. Share Forward.

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